ECHOES
the fire found a new gathering place the day you packed your things and ran away to save your face from seeing me this way anymore. and the river you ran through made silly pools inside of me - wet memories that never seem to dry. i can't believe we've slipped...
no more echoes when my heart beat faster. no more games where you'd hide from me. no more hands clutched tight and sand stretched far trickled away when you found your way home.

THE LONGEST
the last words said were the slowest, and the more your smile echoes the more your hands leave my touch, the more my eyes burn. and i swear if i ever learn to recreate that single day in my head, that will be the day i'll find a way to carve my way out of you. or at least carve you out of my heart.
this burning and our temple, i'll never understand. decisions made too simple break me into sand.

EMERGENCE FROM WING TO FINGERTIP
in a forgotten room the tenth day of august; your voice as crystalline shadows, with words from your mouth i never thought i'd hear again: "you know i care - never tell me i don't." drained and lifeless without you, if somehow i could push my way inside of you and make it known what you are for me; ideal mirror and only brother - yet you never let me in. forever outside i'm watching you with more depth to this than i have for myself.
and when you say, '"i know i'll never," know that i'll always, and never forget.

SECOND-LONG LOOK
when we were lost, we were saving every texture, taking breaths in every silk ray. and it seems so unreal - you're not in these memories.
candlelit nights blurred by dreams i never knew and the land you crossed in my mind pointed fingers straight through the back of my heart. my hardened shell was your only defense, you swore. "i looked up once and i was enveloped..."
these paths i can't even spell. and i know i used to feel you. and i know the things you used to say. and all the time we'd spent - pennies in pools as deep as oceans and hands in hands as warm as now. and it seems so unreal - you're not in these memories.

SEMBLANCE
can you tell me the sound when you try to remember? crushing doves in the palm of your hand. i really need to try to not forget without you leaning over me reminding me to always let go. it's not working, and no matter how hard i try, 'goodbye' never sounds the same as when you try to remember it.

all words © ben londa, 1996.